Child Rearing

Raising children is difficult, and depending on the child, can be very frustrating. I do not have a strong grip on what motivates my son David. I do not know why he makes the decisions that he makes. At five years old he as had consequence explained to him and he has demonstrated an understanding of this concept. When the time comes to make a decision the lesson can be lost on the boy, his desires become paramount and anything standing in the way of achieving them is in jeopardy.

Today David misbehaved, he demonstrated a complete lack of respect to his teachers and classmates. This is not the first time he has done so and I have no confidence that it will not happen again. The professionals at his pre-school say things like "he needs structure". I believe he has structure, we all sit down for dinner every night, we go to bed at the same time every night, we brush our teeth and say our prayers, we eat our breakfast every morning and are reprimanded with a" time out" when we misbehave.

The other two children are not prone to the same behaviors as David and sometimes I worry that there might be something wrong.

Most importantly, I do not like it, his behavior is a poor reflection and I need to understand how to help him behave better.

Merry Can Ride

Merry can ride a two wheeler! The training wheels are off and she is flying. She still needs a little help getting started, but with one quick push she is off. Remember when you learned to ride a bike? The feelings of freedom and flying.

So cool!

Song in a Bag

Meredith was wandering around the house yesterday afternoon singing and carrying a sandwich sized ziplock bag. When I asked her what she was up to she replied she was saving music. She handed me the bag asked me to sing in it and zip it up quick. She did not want one note of Daddy's song to escape.
I am not sure what happened when she went to listen back to all the music she captured. I do know that she filled that bag with some beautiful music.

Two years

I have been blogging for two years now. My children are growing faster than I can type, I put my dog Jackson to sleep and have grown a business. In my 38 years the last 2 have flown by, to the subjects of this blog, my children, two years represents a very large portion of their lives.
The blogging used to be a daily event, now I am lucky if I get by here once a week.
I plan on continuing with the chronicle of The Old Blue House, can't wait to see where it goes.

A Budding Relationship

David has a best friend, the two are nearly inseparable. David and Lexi go to preschool together, one day a week Lexi comes to our house for the afternoon and one day David goes to Lexi's.

One day, after snack, the preschool teacher asked David to throw away his trash, David turned to Lexi and asked her to do it, Lexi did, as the teacher looked on in disbelief.

David was told that he was asked to preform the task, not Lexi, and that when he is asked to do something it should not be delegated, my words, not the teachers.

David looked at the teacher and told her that Lexi wanted to do it, that she liked to do it, and who was he to deny her.

Sounds like marriage material to me.

The Littlest

Wow, Thomas has been sick, nothing melts my heart faster than a sick two year old. He started sleeping in our bed about a week ago and now I can't get him out. He has been able to bust out of his crib for a couple of months now. His ability to escape, having a place to go and a soft spot in Daddies defenses has made for some very uncomfortable nights.
There is a battle on the horizon. Getting the little fella to accept his place is not going to be a lot of fun. I am dreading it in fact. I heard a rumor that Santa is going to bring him a big boy's bed, maybe that will help. Wait a minute, that is a month away. A battle looms on the horizon, unless the illness persists we are going to have it out, I haven't lost yet and will be damned if the last one breaks me.
Thomas does have an advantage over the other two when it comes to taking advantage of Dad, he is the youngest. The time I spend with Thomas on my lap is the end of the line. There are no more toddlers or babies to follow. The children are all growing up fast and the bigger they get the worse they fit on my lap. Merry is too big to snuggle in, David is at the maximum size and my limbs fall asleep under the pressure. Thomas fits and snuggles in perfect, when we are situated in the big chair watching the fire, or the Football game, or even Sprout, I know it is fleeting. I want him to grow, really I do, but part of me wants him to be my baby forever. The child still thinks that I am a God, all knowing and all powerful, and when he calls to me I have to answer.
He will sleep in his own bed again soon. The minute the coughing, runny nose, and fever clear up he is out. Back in his own bed whether he likes it or not.

Nutcracker

Merry will be performing as a mouse in a regional production of the Nutcracker. Merry is very excited about this opportunity. In a remarkable show of maturity Merry made the right decision. Merry was scheduled to see the Nutcracker in Boston on the same day as the dress rehearsal. Mom suggested maybe she could miss the rehearsal, Merry had none of it, "you can not miss the dress rehearsal Mom!"

Why?

Thomas has finally arrived at "Why?" It took him longer to get here than it did his brother and sister, but now that he is here he is taking full advantage.

With Merry, I made up a reason every time she asked "why?" David got an answer 80% of the time. Poor Thomas is not so lucky, I find myself sticking to the facts of the "why" and if I am not in the mood "Because I am your father and I said so" is the response he gets probably 30-40% of the time . He is not easily deterred and as expected the "Why's" continue.

I love the "why's" and I am happy that Thomas has finally arrived. Making up answers really tests a dad's imagination.

Growing

Merry starts kindergarten the first week of September and I envision the worst. Merry is a girl who reaches out to others and exposes herself. She puts it on the line allowing complete strangers access and I know that this innocence and trust is ammo for the rotten little kids of this world.

I expect that her vocabulary will be enriched with slurs and hurtful names. New levels of teasing and taunting will be experienced. How does a dad allow his precious princess to be exposed to these things? How can he not?

I do not like the lack of control associated with my daughter heading out into the real world.

I understand that it has to happen and that Meredith will be terrific. I just don't like it. It may be because it will be the first test of me as a parent. How will my child behave when confronted with all of the options presented her. Have I taught her the difference between right and wrong? Am I as important to her as little Tammy? I hope that she chooses good more than bad, and when she chooses bad I hope that it is not to bad.

Summer '07 So Far

Public School

Our adventure with the public school system has begun. The summer before you enter kindergarten you find out whether or not you are in the full day program or the half day program. This is a big deal to those involved and the stakes are high. A consistent full day schedule or in inconsistent half day program that meets four times a week, starts at a different time everyday and ends at a different time. Difficult for everyone involved.

The school system determines who gets to go full time and half time by lottery, they draw names out of a hat. Merry's name came up short, she has been placed in the half day program and her mom and dad are not happy!

Merry has been attending pre-school for two years now and is ready for the full time schedule. There are options and we will explore them. I wish I could say I am looking forward to the adventure ahead, wrestling with bureaucracy is kind of like banging your head against the wall.

Knock, knock, knock! Ouch that hurts, did it help? Not sure.

I am not as worried about the dilemma as my wife but I resolve to work hard at getting Merry, my Princess, the education she deserves and needs. She will attend a full time program, now it is just a question of where.

Anybody want to pay tuition for private school? I would if I had the dough.

David

What has gotten into you my little friend? This week has not been good. You have decided that you will throw fits at your discretion over silly things. They seem silly to us. To you they are of dire consequence it seems.

I admire your tenacity but I have to warn you, your behavior has put you very close to the edge. Your mother can not take much more of your repetitive screams that you do not want to wear pants today. She may just let you have your way and sell your pant less ass to the highest bidder.

Any bidders?

Last nights apocalyptic fit over getting out of the bath tub was very trying. You are exercising our patience and we are beginning to feel fatigued. When total patience failure hits I would not want to be standing in your shoes. Repeating "I want hot water" over and over only diminishes your chances to ever bath again.

You have an extreme personality, some days so cute, others, oh the others. The night before last when Mom went in to check on you, she found you singing to your brother. "Goodnight Thomas. Go to sleep Thomas" Mom asked you what you were up to and you replied "singing Thomas a lullaby". Can I suggest more cute on your part. For your own good.

I am sure we will get through this. Your mother and I that is. I hope you do too.

Annoyed

I have been looking at this screen on and off for three days and the only stuff that I have come up with has been so negative that I refuse to publish it. I have been generally annoyed with everything that crosses my path and just want to Bitch, Bitch, Bitch.

There is no good reason for it, the children have been behaving relatively well when I am around. Heidi has not brought any serious transgressions of their behavior to my attention. As a family we are getting back into the groove, routines are being reestablished after the week of visitors. I can not account for my piss poor attitude.

Meredith attended kindergarten screening yesterday and thought that it was about the most fun ever. She was very excited about the hearing test and told me all about it. "They put head phones on me and I raised my hand when I heard the noise." Wow! Terrific! I am being sarcastic with my five year old. Bad Daddy.

I got to fill out all of the forms and sign offs for her admission into kindergarten and the Massachusetts public school system last night. Talk about repetitive, there where fifteen forms all asking the same questions. Name, address, date of birth, who to contact, phone numbers, signature. For all I know I may be the proud owner of a Bridge in Brooklyn at this point or Merry may be a Marine headed to Paris Island. I was dizzy by the end of it.

Maybe, just maybe, after today, we will be introducing a new member of the team at The Tutu Boutique. This is a big step and I am very proud of my wife for growing this business to the point where we need to expand the operation. My brain swirls with all of the implications of an employee. I am not sure why, I have a whole bunch of people working with me at Bug Central. I will tell you why: Sole Responsibility, that's why I feel a bit nervous.

The weather, oh the weather. It is time for Spring to spring, enough of the drizzle and 40 degree days already. I need sunshine and sandles. That will cheer me up.

The Trap

I find myself getting caught in the same trap over and over. My children set this trap by simply being. Mostly it is Merry and David, I am sure Thomas will be an accomplice when he learns to talk. When they can talk they simply become another member of the pack. They are still individuals, but my expectations of behavior change, my expectations are for everyone to be as good as the best. It doesn't happen.

I get complacent, I forget that the children are different ages and I expect them all to behave as six or seven year olds. Merry is five, David is three, I get fooled into thinking that because they can talk they should behave as adults.

Merry is very good, as is David, however, David is still prone to a temper tantrum every now and again. It is difficult to handle David's temper tantrums when the expectation is for him to act like a big kid.

A deep breath, a big hug and some reassuring words always win the day. The hard part is remembering the deep breath and not getting sucked into the negative energy of a three year olds tantrum.

Conference

Today, at high noon, I will be attending my first parent teacher conference. The objects of this conference are two of the dearest people in my world. I wonder if their teachers hold them in as high regard as I do. I doubt it.

I have no idea how these things go. Heidi attended Merry's last year and there wasn't a lot to talk about. I think the only instance where these conferences make a difference is when the child needs some sort of help. If that is the case, that one of the children needs some sort of help, I would hope that it would have already been brought to my attention.

I do not have any particular questions prepared, should I? This is a new experience for me and I am excited for it. Good or bad I will have a new perspective on how the outside world perceives what is going on inside The Old Blue House.

Handling Loss

We sat down for dinner Monday night, after grace I told Merry and David that tonight is the last night Jackson will be with us because tomorrow morning he is going to doggie Heaven.

David immediately stated that it was OK because Jackson would come home after that. I informed him that he would not be coming back from Dog Heaven and David began to weep. He said he would miss him and that he loved him. At this point Heidi and I were weeping as well.

Merry's response was very different, she looked around the table at all of the sad faces and declared "We should watch tv, watching tv makes me happy." Merry did not shed a tear, she did not acknowledge the loss. Merry got in trouble at pre-school this week for the first time ever. Her teacher reported that Merry was not acting as herself and that she was being terribly bossy. I think her sadness manifested itself in her poor behavior at school.

The children have moved on, life has returned to normal at The Old Blue House. The adults are keeping it together and as long as we do not bring the children down I think we have suffered threw the worst of this sadness.

Here's to happier days.

Number 37

Wish me Happy Birthday.

Thirty seven feels much older than thirty six. It is going to take some getting used to, you know, being a day older today than I was yesterday.

My hope is to just keep piling on the years as long as I can carry them.

Time Out

It was bed time and David was ready. The boy was overtired and acting up. "I don't want to go to bed, I am not tired"
He was told to go and sit on the "Time Out" stair until he was ready for bed. His protests came to an immediate stop, yelling to silence.
Upon checking on him to make sure everything was alright this is what was found.
Good Night Davey.

How's Merry?

Has anyone heard from the big sister in the family? It feels as though her brothers are getting all of the press around here. The reason is, Merry is perfect, rarely does she incur the ire of her parents.

She has the skill and grace to con her brothers into doing the bad things, this skill allows Merry to reap the rewards, while the boys suffer the consequences. How long will it take the boys to figure out they are being played? They probably never will figure it out. Lord knows girls are still getting the best of me. As for being upset at her for manipulating her brothers, not a chance, that is a skill I want to nurture not retard. Mom may not have a similar opinion.

Meredith is slowly getting a handle on her letters, between pre-school and Mom there has been tremendous progress since the over reaction of a couple posts ago.
Dance school continues to be her favorite, last week she made the front page of The Salem Evening News and today is her mid year recital. I wish I could find the photo online and share it, I know it is out there I just can't find a digital copy.

Meredith's grip on the throne of The Old Blue House is strong. She has all of her subjects under her thumb behaving as she wishes. We, her loyal subjects are lucky to have such a well behaved and benevolent ruler.

Almost Talking

Thomas is close, he is starting to string a few words together at a time. In the beginning Mommy was the word for everything. Mommy is still the anchor of his vocabulary, but he is starting to surround Mommy with commands. My favorite is "Come Heah" the little bugger has a Boston accent just like his Dad.

There is something very special about an eighteen month old pushing in your keyboard, grabbing your hand and insisting that you "come heah, Mommy". Even if it is to see his "bah"(ball) for the thirty seventh time.

He now recognizes me as "Dah" which is a big step concerning he referred to me as Mommy for the last month or so. His vocabulary is strongest in the subject that is his favorite, food. Thomas loves "ahpple, millh, and cackah" . He is constantly standing in front of the fridge working on his speech, what today is "ah ah ahhh" will soon be "get me a hamburger please"

Please is a word that Thomas does not show the same interest in that his brother and sister did. Please was out front when Merry and David were working on language. Instead of please Thomas just raises the decibels.

He is so close to talking that his level of frustration in his lack of vocabulary is sky rocketing. The determination in his face to find the words is inspiring. He wants it so bad sometimes he resorts to hitting, which leads to a time out, which is another part of life he is beginning to understand. So much is going on in his little brain at this point in his development. It seems as though every day there is a different switch that gets turned on, a new mystery deciphered.

It is an exciting time in Thomas' life.