SDS

Sudden Deceleration Syndrome has been a serious problem for me my entire life. I never got hurt falling, it has always been the stopping that left the scars, tears, concussions, dislocations and broken bones. I was born without the mechanism that says "you probably shouldn't try that" when other kids were backing off the ledge I alway stepped up, much to the chagrin of my body.
Now at 38 all of these sudden stops are starting to catch up with me. My wrists and shoulders ache chronically, but worst of all, my right knee is junk. It was about 16 years ago that I severed my posterior cruciate ligament, I fell asleep at the wheel of my pick up truck and came to an abrupt stop at the base of a cliff, on a dark, quiet, back road in Vermont. The dashboard of the truck hit me just below my knee tearing my PCL in two.
Unlike your anterior cruciate ligament the PCL does not need to be fixed, strong quadracept muscles can hold your leg in place, with just a bit of wiggle. That bit of wiggle ruined my meniscus cartilage and 3 years ago I had it fixed, the meniscus and PCL, it was a terrible experience. I slowly recovered and eventually got back to jogging. Jogging was not a good idea, after a year of jogging my meniscus began to tear again and eventually, like before the big operation, I found it hard to get through the day with out my knee swelling up.
Two months ago I went back and had my meniscus trimmed again, this time I walked out of the hospital the same day and with in six weeks was playing golf and chasing kids. I did not even need crutches, I used a cane for about three days and then dropped that. The arthroscopic surgery was simple and my knee felt better almost immediately.
I had one follow up visit with the surgeon about a month after the procedure. During this visit I asked him if and when it would be possible for me to start lumbering again. It was obvious by the look on his face that he had no idea what I was talking about so I explained, "Lumbering is one speed slower than jogging."
His response was not what I wanted to hear, "You only have thirty percent of the meniscus cartilage you were born with in your right knee and you should not waste it lumbering." "Go by a bike" was his advice.
Sudden Deceleration Syndrome has finally caught up with me and it makes me feel old.

Will it ever end?

Last week was Merry's recital marking the end of a year of ballet. To celebrate the extended family went out for Chinese food, towards the end of dinner Thomas crawled under the table for awhile and then moved to a vacant booth.

When Thomas returned he brought with him the odor of a healthy little boy who was feeling a bit thinner than when he excused himself. Dinner was over, the ride home was short, I made the command decision that he could sit in "it" until we got home. This was the wrong decision! The poop worked its way out the back of his pants, up his back and all over the back of his car seat. THIS DISCOVERY MADE ME THROW UP!

My throwing up not only made Thomas laugh, it got Mom's attention. She came to try to save the day. Emphasis on try, she got Thomas' diaper off and then he got away, poop up his back and down his legs. Upon his escape he headed straight for Dad, that's me, I was busy retching at what I had thought was a safe distance. The two year old was purposely taunting me with his poopy body, he had some on his hands and he was chasing me with his hands up making monster faces. It was working because I was running, screeching, and carrying on , while everyone else in the family laughed at my dismay. Mom laughed so hard she peed her pants.

Mom came to my rescue and chased Thomas into the house and into the downstairs shower. All that was left was the clean up and that wasn't pretty either, as I am sure you can imagine. Thomas is our third child and the only one still in diapers, diapers have been in my life for six years now and I find myself wondering if and when it will ever end. I hope the end of poopy diapers is near.

Popcorn

Kids love popcorn and mine are no exception. One of the many benefits of Grampy's house is the never ending bags of microwave popcorn. A few months ago we actually had some in the pantry of the Old Blue house.

Merry, David and Thomas were in the other room chomping away, the children were very happy. We do not have microwave popcorn around all that often, not for any other reason than we forget to buy it. It was a treat and they were treating it as such.

I was in the kitchen, reading the paper, washing dishes, or drinking beer, I do not remember which when Merry and David marched in. I assumed they were there to get another bag of the good and buttery stuff. I was wrong.

Merry looked up at me and said "Daddy, I have a popcorn seed stuck up my nose."

I went and got my flashlight, lifted her up onto the kitchen counter and peaked in. She was right, she did have a popcorn seed up her nose. I asked her how it got there and she told me that she put it there. Go figure.

What is the solution when presented with a kernel of popcorn stuck in your little ones nose? I saw two options, the first was a trip to the hospital and a wait at the emergency room. This did not seem like the best answer. The second, was to get it out myself. This one I liked, but how?

As I considered ways to remove the foreign object from my princesses button nose, Thomas walked in sipping milk through the straw of his sippy cup. Ha Hah! Urecka! and all that. I went to the cabinet, got a straw from the straw box, laid a very calm, cool and collected four year old out on the kitchen counter, inserted the straw and applied suction.

Out of her nose came the kernel, into the microwave went the next bag of popcorn and life proceeded as usual at The Old Blue House.

Frump

I am in the middle of a blogging frump.

I do not have any particular insight or thoughts of interest to pass along.

If any of you want to know what a man thinks about a certain moisturizer you can read his thoughts here. If you want to try that product let me know. If you want to get started on the road to financial independence, network marketing and direct selling maybe an option. Shoot me an e-mail.

We are all just a bit sick at The Old Blue House. Lots of snot in the morning but as the day proceeds we all begin to feel better. Makes for a tricky morning, the children being grumpy makes the parents feel grumpy. Tough way to start the day but we work through it.

The Tutu Boutique is experiencing its first growth spurt, it is humming along at such a pace that Heidi has started to make some structural changes to the way the business operates. Heidi has three children, young children, she has an Arbonne downline that needs attention and lots of customer service questions to attend to at the Tutu Boutique. It is exciting and scary at the same time. I hope when the dust settles that maybe we can get some part time help. Either with the children or the business or even better with both.

Many evenings when I get home from work I find Heidi at her computer with Thomas on her lap, typing an email response while talking on the phone. There does not seem to be enough time in the day for her to accomplish all of the tasks that she wishes to accomplish. I want her to know that I really appreciate her effort and hard work. I want her to know that I love her and that I am thankful that she is my kids mom.

Time Flies

Where has the time gone? The last day I jogged was 1/13/2007 that is over a week ago. The reason for my lack of exercise is the weather. I have a very difficult time getting out the door when the temperature is below 20 degrees. If it has not been freezing there has been precipitation. Jogging in a freezing drizzle is not at all appetizing.

Winter has officially arrived and I am begining to worry that I am going to fatten back up. I do not want to fatten back up, I also do not want to go to the gym. First I do not belong to a gym, second, when I work out it is best done alone. There are tons of snots and sometimes, most times, vomit.

Mrs. Jones does not need to be subjected to the fat guy on the tread mill next to her shooting snot rockets and hocking lung butter. Not to mention retching in the trash barrel. These types of bodily fluids are best dealt with alone, in the dark, in anonymity. Not at the Y with everyone looking on, if I can ski in the cold, I can jog in the cold.

I am done complaining, I resolve to dress up nice and warm and get out there. No more excuses.

Trying to Run

I am trying to run and it is not working out. The reason is the breathing. The breathing is bad, as I have stated before it feels like I am drowning. Today while I was retching at the top of the last hill an analogy popped into my head.

My lungs feel as though there is a layer of swamp mud settled at the bottom of them. Running up hills disturbs the mud and sets me to fits of coughing to dislodge it. After two or three episodes the foul matter is removed and I breath much easier.

I have decided running is sub 8:00 miles. If I can finish my three miles under 24:00 that would be good. A goal even. I read a description that the difference between a runner and a jogger was racing. This is probably true, if it is then I will remain a jogger for some time to come.

Correlative

This correlation may seem obvious to all of you, however, to me it was quite a revelation. It became painfully evident to me this morning.

The more glasses of Cabernet, the more difficult the jog the following morning.

Urgh! I made it but just barely. Forget the watch, I really do not want to know.

On Jogging

My body does just fine while I jog, my lungs on the other hand are not doing any better. I have trouble processing oxygen. It sucks, literally. I can not get the air through my lungs cleanly. I get the air in and it does not get processed, I gasp for more and it does not get processed.

This feeling of drowning is the worst at the top of the hills along the route. The journey down the other side is spent trying to recover from the trip up. I spend the downs recovering and trying not to hurl. Good times, good times.

Operation Blood Pressure

Operation Lower Blood Pressure has been a success. My blood pressure two months ago was 140/100 yesterday it checked in at 114/80. No blood pressure medication for me.

The loose weight end of the equation did not come in as low as hoped, however it is headed in the right direction. I have jogged between 80 and 120 miles in the past 8 weeks. I lost 5 lbs, I didn't loose it, I left it on the streets of my home town.

We are having a great Halloween season at the Old Blue House and it will come to an end with a big trick or treat extravaganza tonight. I love toddlers on a sugar high.

Peace.

How Do They Know?

It seems as though there is some sort of mysterious link between me settling down on the cusp of sleep and my children waking up and feeling sick.

There were no naps at our house yesterday. This makes for a rough afternoon and an easy bedtime. Once you actually get the over tired little monkey's into their beds they fall asleep quickly. The kids were sleeping soundly by 7:30 last night, Heidi and I went to bed too. We watched television until around 10:00 o'clock and then rolled over to sleep.

Ten minutes later the coughing starts in Merry's room, then crying, then I get the elbow to go and check on her. A hug, a tuck and then...Vomit! all over her bed. Thomas takes this commotion as a sign to start coughing and crying as well. Somehow David stays asleep, last night David was my favorite.

Thomas has been showing the signs of illness for three or four days, mostly snots and coughs. Merry's sickness came out of nowhere, she seemed fine when she went to bed, then BOOM, what a mess. She was tough, we changed her bed and her pajamas and she made it into the bathroom for the follow up performances, of which there were three. Thank goodness she made it because I am not sure whether or not we had more sheets.

After the initial blow out Heidi took responsibility for Merry and I rocked Thomas. It was kind of nice and inconvenient at the same time. He would settle down quickly, fall asleep, and as soon as I put him in his crib he would start again. I waited him out and by 11:30 or midnight the adventure was over.

I had a 7:00 am meeting this morning and have not received any updates on how today is progressing, I hope all is well and will call soon. The question remains, How do they know we are just about asleep? It never fails, as soon as Heidi and I settle down that is when the fireworks begin. Merry had two and a half hours to get sick, but waited until the moment before we fell asleep. This is Thomas's modus operandi, you know if it is going to be a tough night within fifteen minutes of turning out the light, if you make it, smooth sailing, if not, not

Germs

How do you feel about germs?

Do they scare you?

Do they make you feel uneasy and unclean?

They don't bother me at all. I am not scared of little microscopic organisms, even though they have the power to bend me over the toilet. My germs are tougher than your germs, and more importantly, my kids germs are tougher than your kids germs.

I think children should be exposed to germs. Yes, I think my kids, and yours, should be exposed to germs. How else can they build up their defense system. If you don't exercise your immune system how do you keep it strong? In this antiseptic world, where mom's follow their kids around with a disinfecting wipe for this, that and the other thing, where is an immune system going to face a challenge?

We have two dogs and three kids, the place is always picked up, but it is never sterilized. They say children raised with pets are sick less than kids without pets. You know why? Animals are dirty, they track in all kinds of stuff and give germs all kinds of good stuff to eat. Children raised with animals start fighting off the germs their first day home.

Guess what? Kids who grow up in super sterile environments get sick too. You can't avoid it. Wiping down every surface in the house with your Lysol and Clorox is not going to stop Jr from catching a cold. I have witnessed Mom's wiping down the table with one of those wipes and then placing the kids food down. What kind of unnatural chemicals are you exposing your bumpkin too? Whatever chemicals they are, they must be worse than the seven germs that were there. How about a little soap and water, not strong enough for you?

Eventually your children are going to come into contact with germs. For me, some one who is not afraid, the scariest place is the waiting room at the pediatricians. Makes me shudder just thinking about what lives amongst the pages of "The Pokey Little Puppy". Next on my list is Chucky Cheese, Yuck. How about pre-school, does everybody remember to wash their hands when they are done?

I say give your children a fighting chance and expose them to some germs.

Spit Up

Spit up, baby vomit, burps with substance, as parents we have become very familiar with spit up. This phenomenon is probably the number one thing that will get the kid handed back to you. I take that back the number one thing that gets the kid handed back is #2 in the pants. Any way, spit up still grosses me out, three kids later, I still can't get used to the smell of baby stomach, just thinking about it makes my stomach uneasy.

Merry, was the queen, every time she would eat she would follow it up with a reversal. I couldn't understand how she was growing, I thought she must be starving to death, nothing stays down. Thomas is the same way, every time he eats, look out, that next burp has the potential to be very messy.

What really surprises me is how often I find myself unprepared for the mess. My mother still tells me "three times for the average mind" I have been vomited on at least once a day for the last four years, that is more than three, and I still am not prepared. I find myself without the burp cloth every time, why do you need a cloth for a burp? You don't, you need a cloth for puke! That's what they do they puke, Damn its nasty.

There is an upside, a silver lining to the nastiness, it has taken me three children to arrive at this conclusion, are you ready, kids that spit up a lot are nicer than kids that don't. My son David kept all that vile nastiness inside, instead of messing up my wardrobe he messed with my head. He cried and was a general pain in the ass 80% of the time, but he wasn't messy, except for the snots, that is another story. The kid needed to be held and rocked almost all the time, he never seemed to be happy. Merry and Thomas, smiles, 80% of the time Merry was and Thomas is as happy as can be.

In conclusion, if I could order a child, you know pick one off the rack, I would chose one that vomits a lot. Yes, it is true, I find the inconvenience of changing a shirt, or putting a little elbow grease into the sofa, to be far less inconvenient than a yelling, miserable, inconsolable child.