Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Spit Up

Spit up, baby vomit, burps with substance, as parents we have become very familiar with spit up. This phenomenon is probably the number one thing that will get the kid handed back to you. I take that back the number one thing that gets the kid handed back is #2 in the pants. Any way, spit up still grosses me out, three kids later, I still can't get used to the smell of baby stomach, just thinking about it makes my stomach uneasy.

Merry, was the queen, every time she would eat she would follow it up with a reversal. I couldn't understand how she was growing, I thought she must be starving to death, nothing stays down. Thomas is the same way, every time he eats, look out, that next burp has the potential to be very messy.

What really surprises me is how often I find myself unprepared for the mess. My mother still tells me "three times for the average mind" I have been vomited on at least once a day for the last four years, that is more than three, and I still am not prepared. I find myself without the burp cloth every time, why do you need a cloth for a burp? You don't, you need a cloth for puke! That's what they do they puke, Damn its nasty.

There is an upside, a silver lining to the nastiness, it has taken me three children to arrive at this conclusion, are you ready, kids that spit up a lot are nicer than kids that don't. My son David kept all that vile nastiness inside, instead of messing up my wardrobe he messed with my head. He cried and was a general pain in the ass 80% of the time, but he wasn't messy, except for the snots, that is another story. The kid needed to be held and rocked almost all the time, he never seemed to be happy. Merry and Thomas, smiles, 80% of the time Merry was and Thomas is as happy as can be.

In conclusion, if I could order a child, you know pick one off the rack, I would chose one that vomits a lot. Yes, it is true, I find the inconvenience of changing a shirt, or putting a little elbow grease into the sofa, to be far less inconvenient than a yelling, miserable, inconsolable child.



Blogger freezio said...

You're right about that. Times The Voice 'spit up' I could count on one hand, but five minutes after he fed, he'd be screaming. Maybe colicky kids puke less.

12:25 PM EST  
Blogger Rachelle said...

Being a human burp rag, I can agree. Spit it up on me rather than fuss.

2:27 PM EST  
Blogger Kailani said...

If that's true, then my baby girl is going to be the sweetest child on earth! We thought something was wrong because she would spit up with such force. The doctor's advice? Carry a lot of burp cloths around.

Thanks for submitting this post. I can always count on you for a good laugh.

1:11 AM EDT  

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