Thursday, March 02, 2006

Birthday

Today is Merry's fourth birthday. Four years ago today, the most wonderful, scary, anxiety laden day of my life happened, I became a Dad, that's right a D.A.D., Dad. I always wanted to be a father and it happened four years ago today.

I remember the anxiety of finding out Heidi was pregnant, keeping it a secret, making sure we followed all the recommendations, getting all the parent gear. Looking back, three kids later, it was a bit much. Hind sight is 20x20, they say.

The biggest question I had then, and still struggle with today: Can I be a good influence? Will I be able to provide my children the tools necessary for them to make the right decisions in their life? My mother always said, "You won't make the same mistakes I have made, but you certainly will make your own." I hope their mistakes are not to grievous.

Meredith is a gift, she is growing into a precious little person with a penchant for dance, a sense of humor, and a big personality. She is not afraid to speak her mind, or meet new people. Everyday she makes me laugh. Everyday I thank God for the Miracle that is Meredith, I thank God for her good health, and the happiness she brings us.

I get all muddled up with thoughts and ideas. Four years old, a little tiny baby is turning into a beautiful little person. Heidi's first words to me when she was born were"I told you so, I knew it, she's a girl!" The story of Heidi's labor must have been told one hundred times in the months following Merry's birth. What an experience, the birth of a baby, there you are witnessing a miracle.

I feel bad for my Dad and the generations of Men before me who were not privileged to take part in the beginning of their children's lives. Child birth changed me forever. Seniors stories of sitting in the waiting room, drinking beer he had stashed in the trash can, waiting for the news, sounded like the way to go before I experienced the train wreck that is child birth. Knowing now the miracle that takes place, I would not miss it. It is hard and uncomfortable, and I didn't even have to push, but is also amazing and wonderful.

Merry, thank you for being you. You have pushed me and inspired me to be a better person, for that I will always be grateful. Now get out there and do your best.

Love, Daddy

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3 Comments:

Blogger Susan said...

Happy birthday, Princess Merry! I love that picture with the tutu and the tiara. Almost makes me want to have another baby . . . okay, no. But hooray for Merry!

10:31 PM EST  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Happy Birthday Merry. I hope you save this wonderful story for reading when she is a teeneager to remind of you of how wonderful she is (even when she is a teen).

2:27 PM EST  
Anonymous Wendy said...

This was absolutely lovely, Peter...she is very lucky to have you as her daddy...

6:34 PM EST  

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