A Shift

David no longer cries for Dadda when things go wrong. This bum's me out, I really got a kick out of him coming to me when he needed a hug. It has shifted back to Mommy, Heidi loves that he wants her, but with two other children vying for her undivided attention I think she was OK with David turning to me.

The week David and I spent together while Mom, Merry and Thomas were in Atlanta created a bond. That bond is still present, yet with my return to work it is loosing strength. After two weeks together David looked too me to help solve his problems, now he is turning back to Mom. Can't say I blame him, she is there and I am in an office.

Seeing this shift makes me feel sad. What I want is to be there for my children, if they have a problem, I want to be there to help them solve it. This is an interesting dilemma that makes me feel a little whiny. I want to stay home, I want to go to work, why me ohh why me?

The thing is, if I really wanted to stay home and take care of the kids, Heidi could get a job and I could. I don't want that really, I love my job. I like getting up and going to work and don't want to give it up, even if it means when David scrapes his knee he calls his Mom instead of me.

I have learned, and will hopefully implement, that spending time with the children independently from the other children is very important. I think I need to plan a weekend away with Merry. Soon, Thomas will be big enough for Heidi to escape with either David or Merry. An adventure with a parent, what could be better?