Sunday, April 23, 2006

Another one Down

I have broken another child's spirit. Thomas has been defeated, we all knew it would happen the only question was when. Last night Thomas stirred, I went in laid him down, patted his back and left. Thomas went back to sleep.

I remember going through the process with Merry, it was intimidating, there were all sorts of feelings invovled. Was I damaging her by denying her? At the time, less than one year into the most unbelievable journey I could ever imagine, I didn't know. All I knew was that I loved her and needed/wanted to be there for her. To let her cry for forty minutes without hugging and rocking her seemed barbaric.

I was not as calloused then as I am now. I didn't realize that the sooner the child figures it out, the better it is for everyone, some lessons are harder to learn than others. Two or three nights of denial for the future possibility of a good nights sleep is a no brainer. I say possibility because with three kids the prospect of a good nights sleep is never more than a possibility.


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