Monday, March 13, 2006

One vs. More

If you only have one child, and that child is over the age of three, what are you waiting for? Make some more babies. Here is the thing, that precious little child of yours is really cute, and I understand why you love him/her so much but holy mackerel give the kid some space.

I remember back when Heidi and I were wrestling with the decision to get a second dog. Could we love two as much as we loved the first? Yes... What about Merry? Could we give her the love and attention she needed if we had a second? Yes... What about Merry and David? Could we give them the love and attention they needed if we had a third? Yes... By this point the dogs were out. They are still around but their position went from loved to tolerated.

The thing is, these kids do not need constant attention, when we had only one I would follow her around everywhere making sure she was O.K. I remember feeling as if the parents who had multiple kids were thinking "cut the kid some slack" and you know what, they were. The problem for me was I didn't trust their older children to keep an eye on my precious two year old. I am not talking about going for a walk down the street I am talking about going to the play room, or up into "Emily's" bedroom. I didn't understand that the older kids, unless they are demonic, look out for the younger kids.

When Merry was Davids age I wouldn't let her out of my sight. With David I just keep track of what co-ordinate he is in and check in periodically. Merry tells on him enough that there is a constant report on his well being and location.

Now I can't wait to go someplace where there are lots of kids and adults. The kids play, and the parents with more than one kid talk. The parents with one child split shifts, one gets to socialize while the other keeps an eye on precious.

My problem was, whenever we were out it was my turn. Heidi spent all week keeping tabs on the princess so when the weekend came along it was my turn. I would follow Merry around while the adults socialized.

I am one of the adults now and I feel bad for the guys chasing their kid around. I know the answer, have more kids. When you have more kids the little things get smaller and the bigger things get bigger. Brothers and sisters are special, you have the power, make some.

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Anonymous freezio said...

We considered stopping at one. I think it's a valid choice, although I'll go ahead and also agree with your point about not smothering your kid; Give them their space, as you say. They need it to learn to use their imagination, and to think for themselves. I think the best argument for having more than one child in this modern age is that they can become peers for oneanother, and can really teach eachother how to treat (/ get along with / understand) others.

8:21 AM EST  
Blogger Mary P. said...

It's possible not to smother an only child - but it's sure uncommon!!

I remember my MIL one "helping me out" by taking my two older children for a week, leaving me with the youngest, then 15 months old. This was no favour she did me.

The 15-month-old, normally a very easy-going baby, suddenly found herself bereft of playmates, so guess who she expected to fill that void?? You got it.

Three days into this "break", I called and asked my MIL to bring the other two back - I needed a break!!

7:43 PM EST  

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