Friday, August 11, 2006

Anxious

It is an exciting time at my house, the addition of two more sisters into the fray really ups the chaos level. Merry and David have become Merry, David and Ayden. The dynamic has changed, this new dynamic is combustible and provides more opportunities for time outs. Some combination of two will make one feel bad. If David is the one getting frustrated watch out! He will not be the only one crying when the dust settles. The child has the ability to bring the entire ship down with him.

There are five children, three moms and me, I kind of feel overwhelmed. This anxiety is obvious and not appreciated by anyone involved. I need to settle down and not be so, for lack of a better word, antsy. The external chaos is normal, the kids are getting along great and over all behaving themselves, it is me. The extra activity level agitates me, I have a difficult time settling down and being me.

Every summer I experience it, there is a pattern and I see it playing itself out again, now. The pressure builds up inside of me until I say or do something stupid. After that event when things settle down, I feel more comfortable. This year I am going to try to avoid the impending stupidity on my part and make a conscious effort to RELAX, be myself and "go with the flow".

I let my anxiety get in the way of a great time with my family last night. I regretted my decision not to go with them from almost the minute they left. The party they had last night is gone and I missed it. Thomas was dancing up a storm, since he has started to walk he has been concentrating on his dance moves and they are really coming along. I will get some video posted soon. Everyone had fun and I missed it, I am not going to let that happen again.

2 Comments:

Anonymous CroutonBoy said...

Good luck, my friend, and don't sweat it. I've been there--with that knot in your back slowly hardening as you try to keep a calm demeanor--and it's not uncommon and never easy. I usually recommend alcohol at this point, but as you say "going with the flow" will probably do the trick. Good luck!

11:59 AM EDT  
Anonymous Kailani said...

I know what you mean. My daughter is pretty well behaved until she gets together with her cousins. She then turns into a wild child. It's hard when we all go out together since I'm not used to her acting crazy. I get very anxious. Sometimes I want to avoid going all together. In the end, I'm always glad we went.

1:34 PM EDT  

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