Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Whiff

I am not sure how to express this so I am just going to be blunt. There is a Whiff of Poop in my living room which I can not track down.

This Whiff of Poop has been around for a couple of weeks now, it comes and it goes and I have been unable to put my nose on it. I am not the only one, Heidi is aware of it and occasionally when a guest sits in a certain seat in our living room, I notice, that they notice. So far all have been too polite to mention it.

Part of my job is finding smells, bad smells, the odor of death and I am quite good at it. I have moved the couch, inspected the cushions, looked under the chair, cleaned the rugs and The Whiff persists. The only reason I have yet to burn down The Old Blue House is because The Whiff is faint and fleeting. Days will go by without any sign, then ewe! What is that? That is The Whiff of Poop.

It was back last night, The Whiff, after the children were tucked in their beds, it returned. I sat down in my chair to watch some Red Sox baseball and I caught a Whiff of Poop. I am not sure what to do at this point I believe I am going to have to grin and bear it. This odor does not rank as a stink, more of a mild fluff. We say fluff instead of fart, it is the way I was raised and I have always felt a bit silly but there it is The Whiff of Poop smells of fluff.

There are a couple of possible sources that The Whiff can be attributed too. The first is the two naked children that climb and jump on my couch. The weather in the Northeast has been warm and the children have not been wearing clothes. David is 33 months old and just recently potty trained. I believe he may have made a trip to the potty, dropped a duce and not informed any of the wipers (Heidi and I) at his disposal. Then, all hot and sweaty resumed his naked play on the couch. ICK!

Or, one of the dogs is to blame. They do not always drop the sharpest of turds, maybe a lingerer made it back into the house. The thing is, my nose has been over every inch and does not find the offensive area. The Whiff is not consistent and I am starting to wonder, maybe The Old Blue house is haunted, could it be that The Whiff is a lost soul of a bygone era? Maybe his/her last meal was a plate of Boston Baked Beans, I am at a loss.

If any of you get the chance to sit in my living room please do not hesitate to mention if you catch a Whiff of Poop. Something is there I just do not know what it is and I promise that I will not let it ruin your time with my family, plus it is, just a Whiff.
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7 Comments:

Blogger Mary P. said...

Heh. This was a great post. The "Whiff".

My sense of smell is better than anyone else in this house. Hence, I get the lovely job of telling someone when they need to brush their teeth, or shower, or put their shoes out on the front porch, PLEASE!

My son's bedroom used to be the biggest sourse of Whiff in our home. From time to time I'd stick my head in and say, "This room reeks of Boy. Please open the window." (And no, I don't care that it's February and 25C below...) However, at 17, he has FINALLY really latched on to the notion of regular showers. I am a happy momma.

Now it's the car. Too many teens, but there's too often a whiff of something malodorous in there. Hormones. They're stinky things.

2:48 PM EDT  
Anonymous freezio said...

Since you can't track down any specific source, I'd guess you must have a thin coating of Whiff on all the sufaces of the room: Couch, walls, perhaps ceiling. You're going to have to get the hazard abatement team in there.

5:50 PM EDT  
Blogger Kailani said...

I think your Whiff ghost may be visiting my car. I'm surely sending him back to your place asap.

9:32 PM EDT  
Blogger Oda Daddy said...

LMAO!!!!

I had a "Whiff" in my kitchen a few months ago. Finally found it. It wasn't pretty.

-Jim

12:05 AM EDT  
Anonymous Emily said...

Could I possibly be laughing any harder? Good times, Peter.

1:26 AM EDT  
Anonymous DangerPop said...

One of the funniest things I've read in some time. Great entry. I know that whiff you are speaking of though, except it's a whiff of kid pee around here and my GOD if I know where it's coming from. It's the strangest thing. Good luck on that and my bet is that Freezio is right. Hazmat is our only solution.

1:32 AM EDT  
Anonymous Dave West said...

You'll want to change your name to PuPu Boutique if you can't find the source of the unpleasant odor.

5:04 PM EST  

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