Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Listening

I have had the hardest time learning to listen. To sit quiet and hear what the person in front of me is saying, was nearly impossible. The problem was and sometimes still is, I have an answer and solution five words into the conversation. It does not make for much of a conversation.

Why do I have such a hard time listening? Because I am a self proclaimed know it all, I have strong opinions on almost any topic, I see solutions.

I never realized the value of being able to express the entire thought, if the solution or apparent solution was at hand. Why waste time? Lets get to it.

Some insight on me, I am the oldest of four children, three boys and a girl, I attended an all boys Catholic high school, and went to military college. I have been involved in my family business since graduation and make critical decisions concerning hiring, firing, long range goal setting, and everyday operations. The Pest Control Industry is all about solving problems. Usually the faster and quieter the better.

I did not even realize I had a problem until maybe 3 years into my marriage. Talk about going thru life with blinders on. I thought Heidi was just being a nag. Our relationship was coming to an end and I had no idea why. She couldn't stand me and I had had enough of her. We were very close to calling it quits, neither of us wanted that, so together, we decided to get some help. Every week we met with a woman who made us sit and listen to each other before we spoke. Seems simple enough, however it was very tough for me and some days I still have trouble with it.

Well it worked, Heidi and I began to listen and soon enough the children followed. I think one of the most important parts of being a Dad is listening. My daughter is only three and she will express herself to me in ways I did not understand were possible. I hope that she will always come to me when she needs some one to listen without interrupting. My son, is also starting to express himself and I hope he will continue to feel comfortable talking to Dad.

We have no control over what the future will hold, we do have influence on what happens today, and today I am going to try to be a good listener.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Chocolate makes it better said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes it's the things you don't say that mean the most.

11:18 PM EST  

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