Thursday, December 28, 2006

15 Minutes at The Pub

I walked into the local pub last night to pick up my wife's dinner. Heidi and her Mom have been sick since Christmas, last night I brought home some chicken soup. Turns out my wife does not like chicken soup. She has been telling me this for 12 years and I refuse to believe it. Everybody likes chicken soup when they are sick.

I walk into The Pub and wouldn't you know there are a bunch familiar faces standing around drinking and talking. I order a beer and wait for Heidi's food. The conversation revolves around daughters and how hard they are to raise. One of the guys was just involved in a big yelling and screaming fight with his fifteen year old and he had no idea where the relationship had gone wrong.

Part of the problem may stem from the time the guy spends at The Pub drinking beer instead of at the supper table drinking wine. Who am I to judge? Turns out he lost his temper, punched a whole in the wall and tore the door off its hinges. Another member of the conversation thought this was exactly how it should be handled. Let the child know you mean business.

Turns out the daughter called the police and it turned into a big mess. Go figure.

Another fellow engaged in the conversation has four daughters. He felt those types of disturbances were best dealt with by Mom. I think every issue concerning the girls is best handled by Mom in that house.

The next to last guy to speak on the topic has no children of his own. His niece, however, really has it together. I am not sure what his point was besides the fact that all daughters are not terrible and some do turn out all right. His opinion left the majority of the gentlemen shaking their heads.

As I collected Heidi's dinner I left the group with this thought. It is all about being there and listening to them from the beginning. Making them feel comfortable and heard. Constant signs of affection and care will make the difference, I hope. Yelling and smashing things only escalates the problem. Listening and working together towards a solution solves the problem. Then I left.

Who knows really, I can only hope Merry isn't calling the cops on me when she is fifteen.

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Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

Remaining calm is key. When anger surfaces, you make rash decisions you later regret. I agree being involved in their lives and talking things out is also important. But like you, I have a long time before those teenage years are here.

8:56 AM EST  
Blogger doodlebugmom said...

My oldest daughhter is 19. When she was about 15 I came up with some wise words for her...went something like this: Do not fight with me. You will not win.

'nuf said


thanks for the advice on my blog, stop by anytime, and Happy New Year!

3:29 PM EST  

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