Inversion
Heidi and I were talking this weekend about how the relationship between the parents and the children in our house is upside down. I always thought the kids were supposed to work for the parents, in our house the parents work for the kids.
One hundred times a day we answer the call "Mommy do this, please". or "Daddy do that, please". we always respond quickly and in the affirmative. "Yes, I will get you some milk". "Yes, I will get Thomas off of you".
When it is our turn to ask of the children the answer never comes as quickly and most of the time is answered in the negative. "Not right now, I am to tired". Is Merry's favorite. "That job is too big, you need to do it" is another common response.
Where I have gone wrong is that I am lazy. Instead of insisting they clean it up I just do it. A recent example is Merry's bookshelf. At the beginning of last week David emptied the contents of said bookshelf onto the floor. When pressed he explained that he did it in order to make room so that he could climb it. Terrific.
Merry has a lot of books, the pile was substantial, daunting, even to me. Every chance I had, I asked that the two of them please put those books back on the shelf. Up to Merry's room they would go and there it would end. Different games would be played and stories read. The pile of books remained at the foot of her bed. Until I put them back on the shelf.
The saving grace is that they do the little things well, they are good, and try to do the right thing more often than they do the bad. When I need help they are quick to give it. Sometimes it just seems that we are their personel servants and they enjoy the service.
One hundred times a day we answer the call "Mommy do this, please". or "Daddy do that, please". we always respond quickly and in the affirmative. "Yes, I will get you some milk". "Yes, I will get Thomas off of you".
When it is our turn to ask of the children the answer never comes as quickly and most of the time is answered in the negative. "Not right now, I am to tired". Is Merry's favorite. "That job is too big, you need to do it" is another common response.
Where I have gone wrong is that I am lazy. Instead of insisting they clean it up I just do it. A recent example is Merry's bookshelf. At the beginning of last week David emptied the contents of said bookshelf onto the floor. When pressed he explained that he did it in order to make room so that he could climb it. Terrific.
Merry has a lot of books, the pile was substantial, daunting, even to me. Every chance I had, I asked that the two of them please put those books back on the shelf. Up to Merry's room they would go and there it would end. Different games would be played and stories read. The pile of books remained at the foot of her bed. Until I put them back on the shelf.
The saving grace is that they do the little things well, they are good, and try to do the right thing more often than they do the bad. When I need help they are quick to give it. Sometimes it just seems that we are their personel servants and they enjoy the service.
Labels: Family, Parent feelings
posted by Peter at
10:27 AM
2 Comments:
My mom used to pile the stuff on our beds. Then we had to clean our junk up just to get to sleep.
Yes, I know what you mean. Of course, is it fair for me to expect my two year old to wash the dishes and do the laundry, in addition to picking up his toys?
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